Friends don't let friends get F*R*I*E*N*D*S haircuts...

[Biomechanoid]

Apparently, I haven't any friends...

Saturday morning, bright and early, I found myself in a chair centered on the kitchen linoleum with a shroud around my neck, draping the anterior of my torso, lap, and legs. Moments later, 16" of ponytail fell to the sharpened steel, and the hippy was no more. Preempting the inevitable skullet, Mrs. Nostromo (who 2.5 years ago convinced me to grow it out one last time before heredity set in) and myself decided it was time. I had grown rather attached to my locks of dirty blonde, relentlessly straight main, but I cannot deny the gradual thinning up top. I shall accept it with grace, thumbing my nose at the alternatives to the male pattern. I will likely be bald within a decade.

Sadly, I have no pics to share as of yet. I have intentions of one day owning a respectable digital camera, or at the very least a scanner, but in the meantime you can take my word that I refused to look in a mirror all day Saturday, while my 10-month-old daughter kept giving me odd stares. Each time I hoisted her into my arms, she immediately reached to the back of my head trying to find daddy's hair. Sorry, sweetheart, you'll only have mom's to yank on from now on. Creature of habit that I am, I even found myself brushing the side of my head to pin behind my ear that which wasn't there. I sympathize with amputees. I can't remember this kind of reluctance the last two times I had the locks chopped.

Today, I had a decision to make: what to do with what's left. I let the wife style it at first, but she gave me a Chandler Bing, and there was no way I was going outside with that. So I ventured into the basket of products she keeps on my own, found some gel, and smeared it all over my head. While I had long hair this last time, I most frequently kept it tied back because at work, "untidiness" is frowned upon. That's another box of kittens altogether, but I had enough reasons to go along with it and not get fired. For this reason, I had already formed the habit of pulling my hair back, and now that it was lathered with adhesive, it seemed only natural. It turned out alright and the missus was pleased, so out the door we went.

"Who's the new guy?"

I did up a tally sheet in Excel that I'll be marking on as the days pass at work. Cliched assholes. Remarkably, it only came up once or twice at church (from precisely whom I'd expect), and most people at the picnic we went to didn't even notice. So far so good. But, the week ahead will prove the most challenging. I work with some great people, don't get me wrong, but they are so set in their ways that no change goes unpunished. Jovial and in good fun, sure, but the simple bastards are going to waste so much of my time and perhaps succeed in finally driving me to genocidal madness. Who knows, I may even use a comb.

Ideally, I may have enough productive follicle in my scalp to do it one more time much later in life. I invision myself with a proper chin drape of significant length, with braided white tendrils falling about my neck and shoulders and an ivory pipe protruding from my lips. I'll be squinting through the smoke as I recline on my front porch, staring thoughtfully at nothing. There'll be an old dog curled up on the rug, a cricket in a hanging cage, and a succulant aroma coming from the kitchen where my love is preparing a meal. Most importantly is that by then I'll have acquired the essential readiness to shout and shake a fist at those damn kids that step on my lawn.

[sculpey]

Tough thing to do, but I think there's not much worse than a balding guy having a long pony tail. It's like every Hollywood smarmy guy you can imagine.

[Darkest Angel]

*runs fingers thro' luxuriant, thick mane of well-anchored, golden waves* ...I...I can't relate. [img]wink.gif[/img]

[Biomechanoid]

[img]graemlins/whatever.gif[/img]
So far, 3 "Who's the new guy?" 's

2 "Did you get a haircut?" 's

1 "Did you lose a bet?"

and a blatant "What the hell happened to you?"

It's going to be a long week.

[DemonsAngel]

damn more power to ya [img]wink.gif[/img] i have cut my hair short only 2 times in my life and it has always been long, now i am on a journey to get it as long as it used to be... which will be to my butt, i have about 5 inches to go, the wildest thing i have ever done to my hair since i have been a grown up is cut long layers in it [img]confused.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Darkest Angel]

[img]frown.gif[/img]

I should be kinder.

Don't know what to say about the idiots...they are idiots. That about sums it up. Naturally there will be those who will crow about it being cut, simply because they are closed-minded pricks...consider them deserving of whatever somment crosses your mind, however rude.

At least the "what the hell happened" question is an honest reaction...

[DemonsAngel]

atleast you haven't gotten a *oh wow it looks so much better* one yet.... now that would make me hurt someone

[Biomechanoid]

Actually, Mort, that's the standard response that I didn't mention. I didn't expect one person to miss the old look. I had a short cut when I started here, but I don't even know if most remember that. There's one other fellow with a long 'do still, so I'm sure it'll be a rough week for him, too. [img]graemlins/sure.gif[/img]

*sigh* Add another "Who's the new guy?"

[DemonsAngel]

i don't know why so many people get it in their heads that just cause a man has long hair it makes him un clean or something.... i love long hair on certain men that is [img]wink.gif[/img] but i would never look at one like they were dirty, bunch of damn close minded freaks we all live around

[Andyman]

Heredity has been cruel to me. Well I would only say "cruel" if I really gave a flying fig about my head. Seems I'm the only one, out of a family of 8 boys (& 1 girl) to be losing any hair. Both of my grandfathers had significant hair loss but my father along with my brothers have retained theirs. And to add to my hairless hardship, I can't grow facial hair worth a damn!

But it's all a matter of proper perspective. Evolution has deemed hair follicles to be quite vestigial in the future developement of mankind. In other words, it serves no funtional purpose. I guess in that particular sense...I'm ahead of the curve. [img]wink.gif[/img]